One of the best books I’ve read lately is Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport (which I reviewed previously). I’m now practicing what he preached, having almost completed the thirty-day break from social media to discern my philosophy of technology. In what ways do my values guide why and how I use tech?
Turning Reflex into Intentionality
Two things I noticed right away as I unplugged: first, relief from the constant stimulation of scrolling and, paradoxically, a reflex to grab my phone and scroll. I found myself reaching for my phone without even thinking about it, especially, when fatigued from work or bored. I became particularly attuned to this reflex after deleting distracting apps. I was left staring at the screen, looking for something to click and, with no app there, I suddenly realized what I was doing.
Two weeks in, the reflex was still there. Instead of social media apps, I started clicking on news links and Substack (the one app I hadn’t deleted yet). So, I deleted the Substack app, then re-downloaded it, then deleted it again, waffling back and forth. I finally got a grip on my news scrolling with the Feedly app that allows me to curate news more intentionally. I’m still tinkering with it, filtering out news I don’t need. And if that app becomes a distraction, I’ll delete it from my phone as well.
Deleting distracting apps from my phone has been essential. I will never again download a social media app onto my phone. Any social media use will be intentionally scheduled and take place on my laptop, where I’m less inclined to check it as frequently. The same with any other app that I reflexively, rather than intentionally, use.
The Relief Is Glorious
I knew getting off social media could be glorious from previous experience deleting Facebook for six months. Indeed, my anxiety, distractability, short-attention span, difficulty reading books all diminished. Now when I’m tired during a work task, I take a real break that doesn’t contribute to brain fatigue. And when I’m bored, I allow myself to be bored, giving my brain the needed space to creatively imagine and problem solve.
As an example, during a recent moment of boredom, I came up with a solution to a barrier that prevented me from a favorite leisure activity, namely, walking to places from my house. Even though a venue I enjoy is only a mile and a half a way, I never walked there. Why? The road is incredibly noisy and, as someone with sensory sensitivity, the walk was intolerable. But after unplugging from social media, my brain had the space to problem solve. I bought noise-cancelling ear phones and walked to the venue for the first time.
In retrospect, it seems silly that I didn’t think of that solution before. But that’s what poor use of tech does to us. It impedes even the simplest contemplation.
What I Missed While Unplugged
The purpose of the thirty-day break from tech is not to detox so much as to contemplate one’s philosophy of technology. Detox implies perpetual abstinence. But digital minimalism doesn’t eschew tech entirely; it applies intentionality to tech. As I contemplated the why and how of tech, I was surprised how little I had given it any thought. Being away from social media provided greater clarity of what is most important to me. It allowed me to think intentionally and strategically about technology use.
Significantly, I didn’t miss social media much. But when I considered giving it up entirely, I realized it provided a good way to stay connected with colleagues, a place to share my writing with others, and a space for ministry. While I enjoy seeing family and friend photos, I agree with Cal Newport that social media can cheapen those close relationships. Instead of merely liking a post, I want to invest more in close relationships through phone or Zoom, in-person visits, or even a handwritten letter.
While social media cheapens closer relationships (if it substitutes for deeper engagement), it can foster connection with work colleagues or friends-in-the-making. It allows me to see the work of other biblical scholars or ministry leaders, fosters collaboration on projects, and makes it easier to arrange in-person meetings at conferences.
Social media can also be a bridge to deeper friendship with acquaintances. When I meet someone for the first time at a function and want to explore friendship, but I don’t have a phone number or e-mail, finding them on Facebook allows me to reach out for coffee.
Facebook, in particular, has also been a space for private ministry-related groups. Providing in-person ministry and community are always preferable. But marginalized folks, such as LGBTQ people, often lack adequate in-person community. Online groups can save a person’s life. It also provides a bridge for pulling online people together for an in-person gathering. For example, I frequently co-facilitate small retreats where people can come together for a weekend of in-person fellowship.
My Philosophy of Technology Use
Scripture says, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Gal 5:6; NIV). My faith in Christ is the center that grounds me and guides me into concrete expressions of God’s love. For me, any tech use, is to be rooted in my identity as a follower of Jesus. This involves asking a bigger question: what has God called me to be and do in this life? I’m prompted to reflect on character (do I exhibit the fruit of the Spirit in tech use), as well as action (am I fulfilling God’s purposes for me).
Over the years, I have consistently discerned a call to spiritual encouragement. I want to nurture people in a way that draws them closer to God and other people. I do this primarily through writing, teaching, and spiritual care work. Writing, particularly, is my native language, so to speak. To riff on Chariots of Fire—when I write, I feel God’s pleasure. I’m also a nerdy bookworm with a deep love of Scripture. As a biblical scholar, I seek to cultivate a love of God’s word because Scripture is essential to Christian life and practice. I also have a background in counseling and spiritual direction and love listening to people’s hearts.
So what does that mean for me when it comes to technology use? To be kind of corny, I’ll use a slogan I just made up: “RDA4Love.” Reflection, Discernment, Action—for the purpose of Love. This approach draws on Ignatian practices of Christian living.
Social media does not help reflection. Reflection requires being alone with one’s thoughts and free from distraction (at least for a period of time) to foster contemplation. I want to reduce distraction for myself, but I also want to avoid contributing to other people’s distraction. That means being intentional about when and how I consume social media, as well as what I post for others.
Sometimes, I’ve posted out of pressure to keep people’s attention. The social media world deludes us into thinking we need to have more and more followers or that we have to keep posting to avoid being forgotten. I’ve come to realize that’s nonsense. I don’t need everyone’s attention, nor do I need it all the time. I’m tired of posting when I don’t really want to. I’d rather take my sweet time, so that when I do post, it’s meaningful, rather than superficial. I want to stop distracting myself and others.
As for discernment, how might social media enable me to be more discerning, as well as contribute to other people’s ability to discern well? Discernment has to do with noticing the movements of the Holy Spirit in daily life. More specifically, it involves distinguishing what is of God and what is not of God. When I know what is of God, I can pursue the things of God.
A simple first step with discernment is to evaluate what I’m feeding my mind and heart. What am I allowing into my imagination and thought processes? Does it actively help me to be Christ-like? Is it the best input or merely interesting or good input? I want to be mindful about the quality of what I’m taking in. For example, am I reading reputable news sources, or am I mindlessly consuming random headlines?
Similarly, I want my tech use to foster, rather than impede, other people’s ability to discern. As a biblical scholar, who writes and teaches, one of my passions is making scholarship accessible, so that people can access reputable information for making sound decisions in their lives. As a spiritual director, I also guide people in how to apply Ignatian principles of discernment and decision-making. And I do a lot of listening.
Finally, the purpose of reflection and discernment is action, specifically, loving action. When I make time to reflect and discern, then I can act on the Spirit’s guidance in everyday life. When social media impedes concrete action (clicking an empathetic emoji rather than taking a meal over to a sick friend), that’s a problem. When I spend more time venting about social problems, rather than being part of the solution through real action, I’m only deluding myself about loving my neighbor.
I want to use social media in ways that inspire me to act, and I want to provide content that is helpful for others to act with Christ-like love.
Putting My Tech Philosophy into Practice
Practicing digital minimalism is like a spiritual practice. It requires effort, and it requires on-going re-evaluation. I will outline below a few new tech practices I’m putting into place, but I expect these may be refined over time to better foster RDA4Love.
Simplifying
I have too many accounts, trying to do too many things. This creates distraction and stress. So, I’m simplifying.
I got sucked into the lie that more accounts are better for reaching people. But I don’t need to live in Twitterville, FaceBookTown, BluekskyCity, Instagramburg, and every other web village. Millions of people reside in each of these places—more than enough population for mingling. So, I’m deleting my Twitter/X and Bluesky accounts. I’m also deleting a couple pages on Facebook to focus primarily on my personal account. I’ve discovered that Pages on Facebook are almost useless unless you pay money for advertising. Plus, I don’t want to bother posting in multiple places. I’d rather draw people to one watering hole.
I thought about deleting Instagram too, but since much of the younger generation prefers being there, I will keep it for them. And Meta allows a post on Facebook to automatically show up on Instagram, relieving additional time and effort.
Sure, I will miss certain friends in Twitterville and BlueskyCity, but it will give me more time to invest in people hanging out in FaceBookTown and Instagramburg. I don’t need to be everywhere all the time for everyone. I just need my little corner of the web. Plus, I’ll be glad not to deal with new, weird bot followers every week on Twitter/X.
Reducing Distraction through Curation
I’m switching to curated feeds with Feedly to get away from “breaking news” headlines to read more reputable and substantive content.
I want to focus on content that I really need and want, rather than filtering through excess input that robs me of my time. For example, I enjoy Twitter/X, as many of my colleagues are there, but I find Twitter/X to be the biggest contributor to my distractibility. The benefits simply do not outweigh the costs. The nature of the app fosters superficial posting because only a few words are allowed in a tweet. Plus, the things I enjoy most (e.g. a book recommendation), I can find in other places, such as through a curated blog/news feed. I prefer to follow a colleague’s blog or Substack, where thoughts are more fleshed out than on Twitter/X or Bluesky
Shaping Content Around My Gifts
I’m a writer, first and foremost. Part of my choice to stick with Facebook and Instagram is the ability to write extended text. I want to be more intentional about using social media for reflective writing, rather than random posts that do more to distract rather than enhance anyone’s ability to reflect, discern, and act for love.
From now on, I will strive to only post when I have something meaningful to say or want to draw people into meaningful conversation. I will cut down on random posts that I often feel pressured to provide to entertain. That may mean I don’t post for a month, or it may mean I post three days in a row. It will vary. But I want my posts to avoid distractability culture, while fostering discernment and loving action.
Investing Deeper Relationally, Not Wider
I’m discerning what relationships to invest in more deeply. More contacts are not better. Less is more.
According to Dunbar’s number, we can likely only maintain about 150 meaningful relationships, and even less truly good friends. If we get up to 1500 contacts, we will have difficulty even recognizing people. Our brain cannot keep track of an infinite number. Many people’s social media accounts go well-beyond 150 or even 1000, including my own, making selectivity inevitable to foster deeper relationships.
When it comes to family and good friends, my goal is to use social media only to prompt deeper contact. Rather than resort to the like button, I will strive to make a phone call or schedule a coffee date. That means I will need to discern a smaller number of people to invest in more deeply. If I struggle to make time for personal contact with someone, that’s an indicator my relational resources are stretched too thin, however much I may like that person. Even when we want to do so, we can’t be invested in everyone. We are limited human beings. One helpful factor for discerning which friendships to prioritize is organic contact. Who do we run into regularly and organically because of church, gym, or other activity? The more frequent contact, the better the relationship.
On the other hand, when it comes to colleagues, I can afford to use social media as a directory for a larger number of contacts. This allows me to reach out on an as-needed basis, as well as keep up on trends in my field. It does not require the time and emotional resources required of everyday friendship (though I certainly want some of my colleagues to be my friends!).
Similarly, when it comes to ministry, I’m happy to serve as many people through my writing as benefit from following the content I provide. Offering content to the public is not the same thing as being a friend, but I hope what I offer will result in people feeling heard, seen, and encouraged in some way. That said, ministry work I do with individuals or small groups will have to be limited. That’s hard for me to accept sometimes, but it’s wisdom to accept it.
Conclusion
Go read Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. It will help you think through your own philosophy of technology. And I hope, by describing my own application of digital minimalism, I’ve offered a helpful picture of what it can look like to put it into practice.