Library on Sexuality

If you want to explore the topic of sexuality from a Christian perspective where’s the best place to start? This page will help you in that search. Resources on the subject are divided into six sections. Scroll down to see all. If you need help thinking through this material, consider taking Karen’s class “The Bible, Church, and Same-Sex Relationships” and her course “Scripture and Sexual Ethics.“

• Karen Keen’s Publications on Sexuality
• Direct Care (need to talk to someone?)
• LGBTQ Stories
• Resources for LGBTQ Folk
• Resources for Family, Friends and Pastors
• Bible and Theology on Sexuality

CenterPeace is an affirming non-profit organization that cultivates Christian spiritual community for LGBTQ folk. It’s motto is “A place to belong.” CenterPeace hosts spiritual formation retreats, couples retreats, and online community for LGBTQ people. The organization also works with church leaders and parents to provide support and education through retreats, workshops, and digital resources. Every other year, CenterPeace hosts a national conference where all can gather for fellowship and encouragement. Come join in! All are welcome regardless of where you are in your theological journey.

Does Jesus Really Love Me?: A Gay Christian’s Pilgrimage in Search of God in America by Jeff Chu

“Does Jesus Really Love Me? is part memoir and part investigative analysis that explores the explosive and confusing intersection of faith, politics, and sexuality in Christian America. The quest to find an answer is at the heart of Does Jesus Really Love Me?—a personal journey of belief, an investigation, and a portrait of a faith and a nation at odds by award-winning reporter Jeff Chu” (from book jacket).

Affirming: A Memoir of Faith, Sexuality, and Staying in the Church by Sally Gary

“In this deeply personal memoir, Sally traces the experiences, conversations, and scriptural reading that culminated in her seeing her sexuality as something that made sense within the context of her faith—not outside of it or in opposition to it. Along the way, she addresses specific aspects of her journey that will resonate with many other gay Christians: the loneliness and isolation of her previously celibate life, the futile attempts she made to resist or even “change” her sexual orientation, and the fear of intimacy that followed a lifetime of believing same-sex relationships were sinful” (from book jacket).

Blue Babies Pink: A Southern Coming Out Story by B. T. Harman

“For nearly a decade, B. T. Harman kept a secret journal of thoughts on being gay and Christian, knowing one day he’d shout the story he feared most. On a Wednesday morning in late 2016, he logged on to Facebook and began shouting . . .He then began sharing the vivid details of his story through a 44-episode memoir, published as one episode per day. He called the story Blue Babies Pink. Within days, Blue Babies Pink began to spread through social media . . .Readers resonated deeply with B. T’s struggle with faith, loneliness, shame, singleness, workaholism, and uncertainty. Called ‘the Netflix of blogs,’ more than 100,000 people have read Blue Babies Pink to date” (from product description). The episodes are also available as podcasts on iTunes.

Genius Born of Anguish: The Life and Legacy of Henri Nouwen by Michael W. Higgins and Kevin Burns

“Henri Nouwen was one of the most prolific and creative spiritual writers of the 20th century. Higgins and Burns, creators of a documentary about Nouwen’s life . . . fittingly offer an honest and profound examination told primarily from the perspective of those who knew him best. While he acquired tens of thousands of fans, Nouwen was plagued with self-doubt and anguish. His intense desire for emotional intimacy, combined with an unfolding self-awareness of his homosexuality, often bound the writer up, leaving him struggling with how to live an authentic life as a Catholic priest. Even so, the collection of dear friends Nouwen attracted during his life is most impressive” (from Publisher’s Weekly)

Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays vs. Christians Debate by Justin Lee

“As a teenager and young man, Justin Lee felt deeply torn. Nicknamed ‘God Boy’ by his peers, he knew that he was called to a life in the evangelical Christian ministry. But Lee harbored a secret: He also knew that he was gay. In this groundbreaking book, Lee recalls the events–his coming out to his parents, his experiences with the “ex-gay” movement, and his in-depth study of the Bible–that led him, eventually, to self-acceptance.”

In the Shelter: Finding a Home in the World by Pádraig Ó Tuama

“Drawing on this Irish saying, poet, storyteller and theologian Pádraig Ó Tuama relates ideas of shelter and welcome to journeys of life, using poetry, story, biblical reflection and prose to open up gentle ways of living well in a troubled world.Interweaving everyday stories with narrative theology, gospel reflections with mindfulness and Celtic spirituality with poetry, In the Shelter reveals the transformational power of welcome.” This memoir does a good job of showing how sexuality is only one aspect of the larger picture of one’s life.

Lianne Simon, A Christian Writing about Intersex (website)

Lianne Simon is a Christian intersex woman who has blogged on the topic. She writes “I’d prefer to say that I’m a Christian housewife and leave it at that. That I write about intersex in the hopes of raising awareness about such conditions, especially among Christians. . . XY-Turner Syndrome mosaicism resulted in my having a mix of testicular and ovarian tissue.” You can also view a video of Lianne sharing here story at this link.

Gay and Catholic: Accepting My Sexuality, Finding Community, Living My Faith by Eve Tushnet

A celibate gay Christian, Eve Tushnet “searched for a third way in the seeming two-option system available to gay Catholics: reject Church teaching on homosexuality or reject the truth of your sexuality. Gay and Catholic: Accepting My Sexuality, Finding Community, Living My Faith is the fruit of Tushnet’s searching: what she learned in studying Christian history and theology and her articulation of how gay Catholics can pour their love and need for connection into friendships, community, service, and artistic creation” (from book jacket; while Reverent Sexuality affirms same-sex relationships, I recognize that other people find peace in different paths when it comes to faith and sexuality).

The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery by David Benner

“Discerning your true self is inextricably related to discerning God’s purposes for you. Paradoxically, the more you become like Christ, the more you become authentically yourself. In this profound exploration of Christian identity, psychologist and spiritual director David G. Benner illuminates the spirituality of self-discovery. He exposes the false selves that you may hide behind and calls you to discover the true self that emerges from your uniqueness in Christ.” (from book jacket) While not directly about sexuality, this book is a helpful resource for remaining focused on Christ while exploring one’s identity as an LGBTQ person.

Modern Kinship: A Queer Guide to Christian Marriage by David and Constantino Khalaf

“Same-sex marriage may be legal in America, but it’s still far from the accepted norm, especially in Christian circles. So where can LBGTQ Christians who desire a lifelong, covenantal relationship look for dating and marriage advice when Christian relationship guides have not only simply ignored but actively excluded same-sex couples? Part personal reflection, part commentary, and full of practical advice, Modern Kinship explores the biblical concept of kinship from a twenty-first-century perspective.” (from book jacket). Read Karen’s Review.

Faithful Love Couples Retreat

The Faithful Love Retreat is specially designed for LGBTQ couples who are married, engaged, or in a long-term committed relationship. Come enjoy a weekend of fellowship with other couples while receiving spiritual care and guidance to make your relationship strong. LGBTQ couples don’t always have crucial community support, yet no couple stays strong and healthy without the encouragement of others. The Faithful Love Retreat is designed to nurture couples in Christ-like faithfulness to each other.

Bakos Project

Bakos Project was born out of a deep desire to see young Christian LGBTQ leaders thrive in their faith and spiritual gifts. Bakos Project is a theologically orthodox and affirming organization that mentors and spiritually nurtures LGBTQ Christians in their 20s and 30s who demonstrate a commitment to Christ and exhibit leadership qualities. Each year’s cohort is small to ensure quality mentoring (10-12 participants). Applications open each summer and the cohort begins in September. The name “Bakos,” honors the contribution of the Ethiopian eunuch to the global Church.

Covering: The Hidden Assault On Our Civil Rights by Kenji Yoshino

All of us experience aspects of ourselves that don’t fit mainstream expectations, leading us to downplay our differences in order to gain acceptance. In this book, Yoshino beautifully blends memoir with discussion of civil rights to guide in how to respond to societal prejudice. When Kenji Yoshino was a college student at Oxford, he would go to the chapel to pray for divine help to become straight. Over the years he struggled to come to terms with the fact that he is gay and could not change his sexual orientation. Now he is Chief Justice Earl Warren Professor of Constitutional Law at NYU School of Law and frequently writes about law and sexual orientation.

Love Is An Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community by Andrew Marin

“Andrew Marin’s life changed forever when his three best friends came out to him in three consecutive months. Suddenly he was confronted with the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community (GLBT) firsthand. And he was compelled to understand how he could reconcile his friends to his faith. In an attempt to answer that question, he and his wife relocated to Boystown, a predominantly GLBT community in Chicago. And from his experience and wrestling has come his book, Love Is an Orientation, a work which elevates the conversation between Christianity and the GLBT community.” (from book jacket).

Us vs. Us: The Untold Story of Religion and the LGBT Community by Andrew Marin

“Would you believe that 86 percent of LGBT people―from the proud marcher at the Pride Parade to the quiet, closeted teen―spent their childhood in church? More than half of them left those religious communities as adults; three out of four would be happy to come back. Andrew Marin brings the startling findings of his largest-ever scientific survey of the religious history, practices, and beliefs of the LGBT community. Marin’s findings offer clear direction for both sides of a long cultural battle to meet in the middle, sacrificing neither conviction nor integrity as they rediscover the things they have in common and the hope found in Christ alone.” (from book jacket)

Friends of Bakos

For Christian pastors, professors, or community leaders who come from denominations that do not affirm LGBTQ people and their marriages, it can be a lonely journey for those who eventually shift their theological views to fully embrace LGBTQ people. Friends of Bakos strives to accomplish two things: 1) network theologically orthodox and affirming Christian pastors and leaders with each other and 2) network these same leaders with young LGBTQ Christians who participate in Bakos Project, a mentoring program for Christian LGBTQ leaders in their 20s and 30s.

Love Makes Room: And Other Things I Learned When My Daughter Came Out by Staci Frenes

“When Christian singer and speaker Staci Frenes learned her teenage daughter was gay, she found her dreams for the future–along with her lifelong faith–collapsing around her. Coming to terms with a new reality was a challenge–and an invitation–to make room for many things along the way: the inevitability of uncertainty, hope in the midst of loss, awkward and tough conversations, an expanding faith, and a greater understanding of how people are more the same than different.” (from book jacket)

Embracing the Journey: A Christian Parents’ Blueprint to Loving Your LGBTQ Child by Greg and Lynn McDonald

“Greg and Lynn McDonald had never interacted with members of the LGBTQ community until they discovered that their son was gay—and without resources or support, they had no idea how to handle this discovery. At first they tried to “fix” him, to no avail. But even in the earliest days of their journey, the McDonalds clung to two absolutes: they would love God, and they would love their son. This book follows the McDonald family’s journey over the next twenty years, from a place of grief to a place of gratitude and acceptance that led the McDonalds’ to start one of the first Christian ministries for parents of LGBTQ children. “

Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships by Karen R. Keen

“WHEN IT COMES TO SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIPS, this book by Karen Keen contains the most thoughtful, balanced, biblically grounded discussion you’re likely to encounter anywhere. With pastoral sensitivity and respect for biblical authority, Keen breaks through current stalemates in the debate surrounding faith and sexual identity. The fresh, evenhanded reevaluation of Scripture, Christian tradition, theology, and science in Keen’s Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships will appeal to both traditionalist and progressive church leaders and parishioners, students of ethics and biblical studies, and gay and lesbian people who often feel painfully torn between faith and sexuality.” (from book jacket)

Bible, Gender, Sexuality: Reframing the Church’s Debate on Same-Sex Relationships by James V. Brownson

“Fairly presenting both sides in this polarized debate — “traditional” and “revisionist” — Brownson conscientiously analyzes all of the pertinent biblical texts and helpfully identifies “stuck points” in the ongoing debate. In the process, he explores key concepts that inform our understanding of the biblical texts, including patriarchy, complementarity, purity and impurity, honor and shame. Central to his argument is the need to uncover the moral logic behind the text” (from book jacket).

The Civil War as a Theological Crisis by Mark Noll

While this book is not about sexuality, it’s an excellent reflection on biblical interpretation. Slaveholding Christians were able to make a strong exegetical case for slavery from Scripture. Abolitionists had the harder task. The biblical authors show permission of slavery and the Bible never demands abolition of slavery. Abolitionists had to appeal to broader themes in Scripture such as the liberation from Exodus to make an argument. The book highlights how a wrong interpretation can result from a “simple, plain” reading of the Bible. Extrapolating ethics from Scripture is more complex than often perceived. A must read for considering ethics and interpretation when it comes to same-sex relationships.

The Word of a Humble God: The Origins, Inspiration, and Interpretation of Scripture by Karen R. Keen

Understanding the Bible itself is the first step to learning how to interpret it well. This is an essential book for learning how we got the Bible, the nature of its divine inspiration, how Christians have interpreted Scripture throughout history, and what all this means for us today. Dr. Michael Graves (Wheaton College) has called it “perhaps the best comprehensive and accessible introduction to the Bible available today.” This book does not address same-sex relationships directly, but it provides the foundation for knowing how to interpret the Bible for Christian life and practice.

Sex Difference in Christian Theology: Male, Female, and Intersex by Megan DeFranza

“Many Christians, entrenched in culture wars over sexual ethics, are either ignorant of the existence of intersex persons or avoid the inherent challenge they bring to the assumption that everybody is born after the pattern of either Adam or Eve. DeFranza argues, from a conservative theological standpoint, that all people are made in the image of God — male, female, and intersex — and that we must listen to and learn from the voices of the intersexed among us.” (from the book jacket)

Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender People by Austen Hartke

This book “provides access into an underrepresented and misunderstood community and will change the way readers think about transgender people, faith, and the future of Christianity. By introducing transgender issues and language and providing stories of both biblical characters and real-life narratives from transgender Christians living today, Hartke helps readers visualize a more inclusive Christianity, equipping them with the confidence and tools to change both the church and the world.” (from book jacket)

Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian by Wesley Hill

“Friendship is a relationship like no other. Unlike the relationships we are born into, we choose our friends. It is also tenuous–we can end a friendship at any time. But should friendship be so free and unconstrained? Although our culture tends to pay more attention to romantic love, marriage, family, and other forms of community, friendship is a genuine love in its own right. This eloquent book reminds us that Scripture and tradition have a high view of friendship. Single Christians, particularly those who are gay and celibate, may find it is a form of love to which they are especially called.” (from the book jacket)

Making Sense of Sex: Attitudes towards Sexuality in Early Jewish and Christian Literature by William Loader

“This book is about listening to what writers were saying about sex in early Judaism and Christianity — ancient words surprisingly relevant for today. . . .In examining thoroughly all the relevant writings and related evidence of the Greco-Roman period, Loader dialogues with scholarship related to each writing in order to make his conclusions as objective as possible. By enabling the reader to listen respectfully to these ancient texts, Making Sense of Sex provides a basis for informed discussion of sexual issues today” (from book jacket)

Oriented to Faith: Transforming the Conflict Over Gay Relationships by Tim Otto

“Rather than embracing the conflict around gay relationships as an opportunity for the church to talk honestly about human sexuality, Christians continue to hurt one another with the same tired arguments that divide us along predictable political battle lines. If the world is to “know that we are Christians by our love” the church needs to discover better ways to live out the deep unity we share in Christ as we engage with politics and our world. In Oriented to Faith, Tim Otto tells the story of his struggle with being gay and what that taught him about the gospel.” (from book jacket)

Covenant and Calling: Towards a Theology of Same-Sex Relationships by Robert Song

“Robert Song’s book advances a theological account of marriage and sexuality which appeals to the central biblical theme of the fulfilment of creation in Christ, but is also open to the possibility of same-sex relationships. Rejecting treatments of the Bible which concentrate on a small number of well-rehearsed texts on same-sex relationships to the exclusion of the Bible’s overarching narrative, this book provides a fresh interpretation of the Christian tradition and defends a vision of the church which embraces a plurality of callings, to marriage, celibacy, and covenant partnership” (from book jacket).

The Biblical Case for LGBTQ Inclusion by Matthew Vines (video course)

“In this 20-module course, Matthew Vines (author of God and the Gay Christian) will lead you through an in-depth theological exploration of the Bible and LGBTQ inclusion. From the six biblical passages that refer to same-sex behavior to broader themes in Scripture about marriage, celibacy, sexual ethics, and the roles of men and women, this course carefully lays the groundwork for how Christians can both affirm the authority of the Bible and affirm their LGBTQ friends and loved ones.” (from product description)

God and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships by Matthew Vines

“As a young Christian man, Matthew Vines harbored the same basic hopes of most young people: to some-day share his life with someone, to build a family of his own, to give and receive love. But when he realized he was gay, those hopes were called into question . . . Unique in its affirmation of both an orthodox faith and sexual diversity, God and the Gay Christian has sparked heated debate, sincere soul searching, and widespread cultural change on the issue of what it means to be a faithful gay Christian”

“The Bible, Church, and Same-Sex Relationships” is a class on one of the most important topics facing the church today. The course does far more than look at the handful of Scriptural passages on same-sex relations; it gets at the question of how we formulate ethics in the first place. Participants from a variety of theological viewpoints are welcome. The focus of the course is not debate, but rather serious inquiry and reflection together. This is a chance to ask the questions you’ve been wanting to explore.

Karen Keen’s Publications on Sexuality

Books and Articles

Scripture, Ethics, and the Possibility of Same-Sex Relationships

Videos and Podcasts

Karen’s Substack Newsletter

Direct Care (Need to Talk to Someone?)

CenterPeace

LGBTQ Stories

Stories of Faith and Intersex (Documentary Trailer)

Resources for LGBTQ Folk

Resources for Pastors, Family, and Friends

Bible and Theology

Karen Keen and Wesley Hill Dialogue, Streckert Lecture, Wheaton College

Justin Lee and Preston Sprinkle Dialogue

Take a Class

The Bible, Church, and Same-Sex Relationships

Scripture and Sexual Ethics

Contact