Where Is God in a World of Suffering?

Reconstructing Faith / By

If God loves us and has a purpose for our lives, why is there so much suffering? What does it mean that God doesn’t stop tragedy from happening? Is God truly good?

Trying to make sense of suffering is as old as Job. One common tendency is to suggest a person did something wrong to incur God’s disfavor or discipline. However, the author of Job rejects claims that bad things only happen because God is angry. Innocent people do, in fact, suffer. When asked why a man was born blind, Jesus denied the cause was sin (John 9:1-3). Instead he says God is actively working to bring good into painful situations. Similarly, the author of Acts describes God directly opposing the forces that cause suffering (10:38).

Anglican pastor and theologian, Rowan Williams, says when it comes to trusting God sometimes the first baby step is to look to people who take responsibility for God:

Faith has a lot to do with the simple fact that there are trustworthy lives to be seen, that we can see in some believing people a world we’d like to live in . . . This turn of phrase, about taking responsibility for God, I owe to one of the most striking believers of the twentieth century, one of the many who made God believable by their resistance to the nightmares of modern totalitarianism and violence. Etty Hillesum was a young Jewish woman in her twenties when the Germans occupied Holland . . . Imprisoned in the transit camp at Westerbork . . . she wrote, “There must be someone to live through it all and bear witness to the fact that God lived, even in these times. And why should I not be that witness?”[1]

As you continue to process your image of God, be patient with yourself. Talk with a spiritual director, mentor, or friend who can walk alongside you. Trusting God takes time. Wrestling with pain takes time. The question “Why?” may never be answered, but it is possible to arrive at the same understanding as witnesses before us: God is light and in God there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:15).

During this time, the following suggestions may be helpful:

1. Ponder the stories of others who have suffered such as Nicholas Wolterstorff’s Lament for Son or Etty Hillesum’s An Interrupted Life and Letters from Westerbork.

2. Engage in practices of lament. This could be as diverse as praying the Psalms, writing your own lament, or symbolic acts (e.g. tying a burden to a helium balloon and sending it into the sky etc).

3. Daydream about previous experiences of God in your life. When Mother Teresa went through long periods without sensing God’s presence, her distinct and memorable call to ministry as a young woman kept her going.

4. Meditate on Scriptures that remind you of God’s love, even if part of you still struggles to believe them. For example, consider contemplating stories of Jesus’s caring ministry to those around him.

5. Practice self-care, including recreation/exercise, talking with trusted friends and family, eating healthy, journaling, listen to comforting music, etc.

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[1] Rowan Williams, Tokens of Trust: An Introduction to Christian Belief (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2007), 21-22.

Doubt: When You’re Not Sure What You Believe

Reconstructing Faith / By

Several years ago, I was walking down the street on an ordinary day when suddenly a thought inserted itself out of the blue: What if there is no God? Given that I was not pondering the subject at the time, the intruding thought felt strangely self-animating. But rather than disturbing me, I felt relieved. My body began to relax and an exhilarating sense of freedom washed over me. I was surprised by my reaction. Why would I, a devout Christian, dedicated to studying the Scriptures feel relief at the thought of no God? As I pondered my response, I realized I was afraid of God. If there was no God I didn’t need to worry about getting all the answers right. I didn’t need to worry about getting the answers wrong. It was like someone telling me I could skip the nerve wracking exam.

This incident came at a time when I was increasingly discouraged and disillusioned about finding answers to certain theological questions. Biblical research had challenged long held beliefs and provoked numerous questions. My presuppositions about the Bible were being rattled. Like many other students whose faith is disrupted by biblical scholarship, I came from a tradition that puts considerable emphasis on correct doctrine. Pinning down answers is of utmost importance. Apologetic books abound and parishioners are warned not to read material that might contradict the approved doctrines. At the root lies considerable fear of getting the answers wrong and facing a punishing God.  …

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World So Full

Reconstructing Faith / By

I recently came across a song called “World So Full” by Jon Dee Graham. It is covered below by Gloria Showalter who writes, “My major is Peace, Justice, and Conflict Studies, which means that many of my classes deal with some of the worst stuff in the world. My four years here at Goshen College have been challenging as I look at the pain of the world in my academic study, and in my own life. Sometimes, amidst the study of PTSD, sexual violence, systemic oppression, and genocide, I have felt pretty hopeless.. . . Working towards God’s vision of healing and reconciliation is not the sort of thing that feels good all the time or always yields the results I want. Yet, my time here at Goshen has deepened my hope and strengthened my commitment to working to bring that just and peaceful world a little closer to reality. In the words of this song, ‘I’m still in love with the world so full.'”

Excerpts from the song include:

Little stars hang on tight
to the roof of this night.
Don’t turn away,
Don’t turn away
From the world so full.

Make me willing,
Make me strong,
Make me brave as the day is long.

What Did Jesus Do with His Resurrected Body?

Reconstructing Faith / By

This post is excerpted from Karen Keen’s book The Jesus Way: Practicing the Ignatian Spiritual Exercises.

When I was growing up, Easter was all about vivid colors, hand-made dresses, savory food, baskets of candy, and family gatherings. The celebration started in church where we sang “He is alive!” like we meant it. Resurrection Day was a reminder of life. But missing from my memories is the story of Jesus after his initial reappearance. The narrative seemed to culminate and end with the empty tomb, and we all went back to school and work the next day. 

Ignatius of Loyola saw beyond the empty tomb. He encouraged meditations on the life of Jesus after the stone had been rolled away. What did the glorified King of kings, Lord of lords, now enthroned Master of the Universe find fitting to do with his remaining time on earth before ascending? Ignatius recommended contemplation on these important scenes of Jesus’s post-resurrection activity:

  • Jesus’s encounter with Mary Magdalene and his other women disciples (Mark 16:1–11; Matthew 28:8–10; Luke 23:55–24:12; John 20:11–18).
  • Peter’s race to the tomb seeking Jesus (Luke 24:9–12).
  • Jesus’s walk with the two disciples on their way to Emmaus (Luke 24:13–35; see also Mark 16:12–13).
  • Jesus’s visit with the disciples gathered in a house (John 20:19–23; Luke 24:36–48; Mark 16:14).
  • Jesus’s conversation with Thomas (John 20:24–29).
  • Jesus’s meal with his disciples who were fishing (John 21:1–23).
  • Jesus’s appearance to a crowd of five hundred (I Corinthians 15:6).
  • Jesus’s interaction with James (I Corinthians 15:7)
  • Jesus’s conversation with the disciples on Mt. Olive (Acts 1:1–2).
  • Jesus’s appearance to Saul, also named Paul (Acts 9:1–19; I Corinthians 15:8; technically after the ascension but still included by Ignatius for contemplation).

Jesus hung around for forty days eating, walking, cooking, chatting, and teaching in his resurrected body. Ignatius suggested reading these scenes with all five senses to really enter the stories and understand them. In fact, he said as sensory creatures we can become the human beings we were created to be by imitating the fully human Jesus. Even in his glorified state, Jesus did not lose his humanity. He is the model of how to live the sensate life both before and after his resurrection. That is certainly true of one of my favorite post-resurrection stories: Jesus making a meal for his disciples on the beach. It is worth taking a few moments to reflect on part of this scene.

It was dawn, light just beginning to streak across the dark sky. Several of Jesus’ disciples had been fishing all night. Water slapped rhythmically against the side of the boat as it rocked on the waves. The men were tired and wet. Their work had been in vain. No fish. The shore was not far, maybe 100 yards, but they didn’t notice Jesus standing on the beach watching them. Then they heard a voice shouting advice across the water: “Throw your nets over on the right side. That is where all the fish are.” The disciples did not recognize him. Perhaps they thought him a friendly stranger and figured what the heck. They had nothing to lose. They heaved their nets to the other side with little anticipation. But the lethargy quickly turned into excitement. The nets were filling up. Ridiculously, filling up! It was crazy! They couldn’t even pull in the nets. That’s when John exclaimed to Peter, “It’s the Lord!”

After Jesus had called out his miraculous advice, he started a fire on the beach. He blew on the embers, stoking the flames. Fire crackled, warmth radiated, and the scent of smoke wafted upwards. Jesus sat and waited. He watched his friends wrestling with the now heavy nets of fish. He heard John shout his recognition, “It’s the Lord!” He saw Peter throw off his work clothes and leap into the water, leaving the others to bring in the haul. No doubt Jesus felt delight, hearing and seeing their excitement as he anticipated eating breakfast with them.

Jesus knew how the scenario would play out. He had already started the fire with the intention of cooking for his tired friends. In fact, there was already fish and bread laid out when they walked up. Jesus asked for some of their catch to add to the flames. Then he said, “Come have breakfast.” It was a welcome invitation after a long hard night of work. They sat down and Jesus served them, handing each a piece of bread and fish.

I wish I had been there. The feel of the pebbly sand under my feet, the crackling sound and scents of fire, the sight of the sun coming up over the lake in vibrant colors. And most of all the feeling of elation sitting with my best friend who only days before I believed was dead. Such an ordinary moment eating breakfast after work, yet amazingly wonderful. The simple made glorious by God’s tangible presence.

As Howard Gray, SJ once pointed out, Jesus could have done all kinds of things with his resurrected self. He could have taken revenge on those who tortured and killed him. He could have demanded everyone bow down to him. He could have shown off the wonders of his new body. But instead he made himself a servant. Jesus watched with care from the shore even when his friends did not see or recognize him. He took on the menial task of cooking and serving a meal. He shared his time and presence. Jesus was the same person after his resurrection as before. Humble and compassionate. And he is the same person now.

That is what the resurrection means to me. Not just a moment or day of joy remembering the empty tomb and the life we have been given, but watching the way Jesus modeled how to live that life.

Never Heard of Spiritual Direction?

Reconstructing Faith / By
If you have never heard of Spiritual Direction before, you are not alone. Not too many years ago, I was in the same boat. I first learned about the practice through a woman at my church who had been trained by the Mercy Center in Burlingame, California. When I began to meet with Bonnie all I knew was I needed to talk to someone about my doubts, fears, and hopes for the future. I felt uncertain about God’s involvement in my life or what direction I should go in vocationally. Even after reading a brochure on Spiritual Direction and attending the first few sessions, I still could not define exactly what we were doing. It wasn’t counseling and yet Bonnie listened so attentively. It wasn’t advising and yet I experienced so many new insights. I began to see and understand God’s movement in my life in ways I had not noticed before. It was exciting! In fact, the experience was life-changing. I found Spiritual Direction to be more helpful to me than previous experiences of seeing a therapist. It tapped into the deepest part of me, my spiritual core. My own positive experience with Spiritual Direction led me to seek a training program so I could offer this gift to others. At the time, I was at a crossroad of deciding whether or not to return to the mental health field (after a period of working in student affairs at a university). I enjoyed listening to people and working with them through their challenges, but something always seemed missing in my previous work as a therapist. Even though I saw how crucial mental health treatment is (and still do), I felt unable to fully give attention to deeper underlying issues of the soul. I realized my greatest love was seeing people come alive spiritually and how that affected their overall well-being. Once I discovered the impact of Spiritual Direction, I had the “aha!” experience of knowing this was the right ministry fit for me. So I jumped in with both feet. I had the blessing of being trained by Faithful Companions of Jesus, Catholic Sisters in the Ignatian tradition. From the very beginning I found offering Spiritual Direction to be incredibly life-giving. I never tire of hearing people’s hearts and seeing how God is at work in their lives. I encourage everyone to consider giving Spiritual Direction a try. For more information on what to expect during a session, you can read how I approach it in “What Is Spiritual Direction?” Other Spiritual Directors may have different emphases. It is perfectly acceptable to “shop” around for the right Spiritual Director that fits your particular needs. Find someone you can trust and feel comfortable sharing with honestly. Also consider the spiritual life of the person you are seeing and whether or not he or she is actively pursuing a close relationship with God. To find see someone for individual spiritual direction, see this referral list.
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